Life Is A Box Of Chocolates.

I would say that that is an incredibly dumb, Hallmark-y saying, but considering it comes from Forrest Gump...well, I just can't bring myself to bash Sally Fields.

So tonight I did an incredibly stupid thing. I went to the store yesterday and bought myself a 6-pack of triple layer chocolate pudding. Lemme just preface this story with this: I freaking LOVE pudding. Jello, meh. S'okay. But pudding, dear Lord hallelujah! Getting my wisdom teeth out was such an awesome experience simply because of the fact that all I could eat for three days was Vicodin and pudding. Talk about a dream come true. :D At any rate, tonight round about 1AM, just after yet another failed cooking attempt (making dinner for tomorrow...), I decided I was mighty hungry for some type of sugary delight. Lo and behold, the crafty and clever Holly didn't stock up on any chocolate to prevent herself from this very danger- becoming a fatty by gorging herself on chocolate bars. But wait! The idiot DID buy a 6-pack of chocolate pudding.

Oh shit. 

Yes, my dear friends...I ate all six pudding cups. ALL SIX. In one sitting. o_O I have a problem. But seriously! They're like Lays potato chips...you can't just eat one. It's a physical impossibility, swear to god. And sometimes, it's better to just get it over with and eat them all, you know? :p Comeon, you know it's true... D: Needless to say, self-restraint is kindof a foreign concept to me. It's undoubtedly an American trait. The word feels funny on the tongue. Only ONE pudding??! What are you mad?? That's like handing me a box of Whitman's chocolates and saying I can only have one. Everybody knows that the whole box will be gone in a matter of seconds. 

Oooh...purdy picture. 8D And now on to fun fact time, so as to distract you from the fact that Holly is a fatty...(and yes, this totally counts as my quote :p)

"In the United States, pudding characteristically denotes a sweet milk-based dessert similar in consistency to egg-based custards, though it may also refer to other types such as bread and rice pudding.

In the United Kingdom and some Commonwealth countries, pudding refers to rich, fairly homogeneous starch- or dairy-based desserts such as rice pudding and Christmas pudding, or, informally, any sweet dish after the main course. The word is also used for savory dishes such as Yorkshire pudding, black pudding,suet pudding and steak and kidney pudding."

Thank you Wikipedia. Now we all know why the Brits are so fucked up. Savory dishes my ass. They don't know how to make their pudding properly, much like they don't know how to pronounce the letter "Z" correctly. Thank you Jello™, for showing the world why the rebellious progeny of the stiff-collared Mother England is so much superior. The grasshopper has indeed snatched the pebble from the master's hand. -evil grin-

Lol, I'm totally teasing, though the thought of steak and kidney pudding is absolutely revolting. Bleck! I mean seriously, which looks better??

Heaven-sent fluffy, mousse

OR...

DEATH!

Also, as a random aside, the Brits really need to stop making things out of liver. Newsflash, that's DISGUSTING. Much like this:

UGHHH....this seriously gives me shudders. Also, meat pies. PITHRNEQLKJNVLKSDFNL:AKJDF. psourjgnhlosenflksadjf;kandf. OMG, so gross. SO GROSS!! For instance, let's compare a traditional meat pie to the American chicken pot pie....

American deliciousness 

VS...

WTF !?! 

Australia, WHAT in tarnation is WRONG with you!?!! It is my opinion that the Brits and apparently the Australians as well, will only eat foods guaranteed to clog arteries. I mean look at it all!! It's SOOO thick and meaty and rich (stop with the penis jokes :p). This is the one thing I actually don't like about the UK. For the most part, I love the UK hearts and puppies and rainbows. But seriously, their culinary choices are not the greatest...not that America's fast food industry is much better...but I mean, UGHHH. I could NOT stand a dinner that was bound to give me a heart attack. And the amount of meat they use in their traditional cooking, my god. O.O I like much lighter, American-styled home-cooked dinners, thank you very much. Oh, and I like my veggies too ...

...and my chocolate pudding. o_O




***DC stuff will be up this week I promise!!