Love.
Shoes.
Not just any shoes: pumps, high heels, clackers, stilettos, whatever you want to call them. I adore them- horribly so. Other than my hair and making my boobs look like they are defying gravity (which is a lot to ask of them, considering if I were a few pounds heavier they would certainly be F cups...) the only thing I'm girly over is sexy, borderline skanky, heels. Okay okay, so baby animals too, but if you look at a little baby animal how can you NOT say awh???! Even a droid would grin like an idiot at the cuteness of a baby bunny or doggy. So :p
I know you just grinned. Don't even pretend you didn't. This thing is adorable.
Back to the important subject at hand- heels. I got a new pair. ^^ Yay me! I haven't been shopping since Sweden, and since then, since, uhm....yeah maybe two years? As you can tell, my clothes are old as fuck, freebies, or hand-me-downs. I've got the hobo look so totally nailed. Except for the random three inches of glossy sex appeal suction cupped to the soles of my feet. XD Wanna see??
See? That's sex in two red pumps. Wonder why the whole plot line of Wizard of Oz isn't about Dorothy beating off lusting males with a stick...I mean she does have the red shoes after all. Hm, perverted idea for a Halloween costume? Maybe. Except the fact that I ain't no hoe. That, and I really don't feel like walking around the streets of Ann Arbor wearing nothing but garters, a push up bra and these puppies. Because you know, I don't think society is ready to handle the sex bomb that is me.
HAHAHAHHAHA.
Yeah right, maybe after some lypo. Sweet Jesus, I think I just vomited a bit. o_O The real problem about me wearing heels though is not my bomber former dancer legs (yeah, I'm actually really disappointed in them in the above picture...I might actually have found incentive to finally join the ballroom dance club...), but my height. I'm 5'10". That means that I'm taller than almost ALL of my friends. In fact, I think I'm taller than all my friends at U of M and actually only have 3 friends taller than me (they are gods and goddesses, not only are they all attractive, but statuesque and wonderful...I love them for being taller than me ^^). My boyfriend, well, haha, this is a point of constant debate. He may be an inch taller, two when I'm wearing my boulder of a backpack. And damn does he hate it when I point it out. Which of course I do constantly because 1. I'm a huge bitch and 2. it's the only way I can un-focus him in a competition to win. Like chess (which I've lost every damned time) or idk, volleyball....yeah volleyball. -shudders-
Did I ever mention that I hate sports??
Anyways, this rant is going nowhere, I'm just stoked about my new shoes. Because they're hot as fuck. And I'm sitting here fresh out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel and my pumps. Don't worry, this is actually a habit of mine. Do you know how great your ass feels after wearing heels for a few hours!? I bet this is why I have a shit ass, because societal standards have forbidden me from wearing heels in public as a precautionary measure against people of the city from running around screaming in horror because fucking Godzilla is upon them. -facepalm- But seriously, everyone should invest in a pair of heels, even the manliest dudes out there. All the bros and hoes. Jesus, they just make you feel so damned sensual!
These women are hot. You can be just like them if you buy a pair of pumps today! That's my advice for life people. :p
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