Unfortunately. Not that I don't like the rain. Or the wind for that matter. ^^
What I don't like is time. Damn what a bitch. Life isn't rainbows and puppies, and I think that the sole reason might be because of time itself. Time doesn't stop for anything (duh Holly -facepalm-). It keeps a constant tempo and doesn't give a shit if you need things to slow down and just stand still for a moment, catch your breath before diving back into the freaking floodwaters of life. Nope, it just keeps on going, pulling you along with it. Like the moon tugs at the waves. They can't fight it, can't stop it, they just keep getting pushed back and forth, crashing into the breaks and then falling back out to sea. Recently, I've had to deal with a lot of shit. Because as we all know, it's never one thing it's EVERYthing. -.-
Ironically, the one thing that has kept me going? Time. It has been refusing my rants to slow down, to just let me stand still and try to put myself back together. Nope, it forces me on, broken and battered it shoves me out into the world, where people's lives are turning just as fast as yours and for the most part, the whole of society doesn't give a shit what you're dealing with. It's a world that I don't really want to face, and Time, that bastard, still makes me do it. I still have to face the routine of my everyday life, still have to cook and sleep and work and go to class. I feel like I'm stuck on one of those conveyor belt runways at the airport, even if I tried to stand my ground I would still get moved forward.
Strangely enough, Time knows what it's doing. Because I think, that if I was allowed to take a breathe and to stand in one place for just a little while longer, I would forget how to move forward. Am I saying that all wounds heal with time?? Uh, hell no. Time has one skill and one skill alone- the inability to stop. I firmly believe that the wounds life inflicts on you are the exact same as real deep flesh wounds. They scar over. You still see them every day. You still feel the pain tingling in your nerves. You don't get over it, you carry it with you. All you really learn is how to deal with it. And it would be totally ignorant of me to say I prefer it that way. Because who the hell would. Yeah, it means something was deep and concrete and real, but it still hurts so much that sometime you forget to breathe. At the end of the day, we humans are weak, we don't want to deal with pain or sorrow. We'd rather bury it deep inside us and pretend that our lives are divine than sit there sobbing and facing the reality. Maybe that's good, maybe it's bad. I believe that time sure as HELL isn't going to let us forget, despite what the old saying says. Or at least, maybe it's just not going to let me forget. I don't really know how I feel about that, other than the fact that I know somehow I've got to learn how to carry it all, seeing as I'm not going to be afforded the opportunity to stop and readjust my pack.
Time is such a bitch.
And I know, I'm probably making an ass out of myself- being so philosophical and shit. But, wank off. I'll get out of this 'phase' soon enough. :p
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