...
Which basically describes my life to a 'T' (which is yet another Americanism that makes absolutely NO sense, kindof like the placebo effect...haha, or maybe it's just a reflection of mankind's stupidity, damn did they get that monkey -> man evolutionary timetable fucked up).
Nöff nöff!! (Inside joke, if you don't get it I would suggest Google Translate...) O.o Fortunately, for the past two days I've been able to implement the original, never-before-used excuse of international jet-lag. Yeah babay, International. With a capital 'I'. Suck on that. :p
Or not. O.o And yeah, yeah, so what if I've already gotten over it?? Do my parents need to know that (especially considering I slept in until 3PM yesterday...)? Hell no. Lucky me, sloth has no internal clock. It works pretty much 'round the clock. 24/7, 365 days a year. Hm, okay, so maybe works isn't a very good term... antonyms to work anyone??
At any rate, coming back to the States has made me realize a few things:
1. Europeans are so weird. I think I might love them.
2. Americans are fucking dirty. And not in the "oh-baby-don't-stop" kind of way. If only, Jesus. Try in the "Look honey, you can see the trash littering the streets from the airplane!!" kind of way.
3. I love peanut butter.
^^ I know, the last one might sound really weird, but if you've traveled/lived abroad (or at least in Sweden??), you damned well know that peanut butter is unbelievably hard to find. And also tastes like crap if you do happen to find it. On the upside, Nutella is only maybe two bucks. Score! However, chocolate chips are nonexistent (as is artificial vanilla apparently...) along with rice krispy treats.
I KNOW.
Europeans have never reveled in the glory that is rice krispy treats.
What the fuck!?!?! And they call Rawanda a third world country. Christ above.
But yeah, being back in America is so friggin' weird. I mean, after about a week and a half, I was already calling Sweden home. Yeah, by the end of six weeks I kindof wanted to go home so my mom would do my laundry for me, but really only for the weekend. You know, stop off in Michigan for a long weekend and then hop on over back home to Uppsala. Too bad the flight takes two damned days and costs about a 10th of my tuition (which doesn't sound like a lot, but 1. I go to the University of Michigan and 2. It's a goddamned plane ticket). Not to mention I would have to deal with customs and security and blah blah blah. UGH, fucking terrorists. Can someone just please find Osama so we can get this over with?? Because god knows what kind of bomb I can concoct using floss, chewing gum, half a shot of vodka, toenail clippers and my MacGyver -like genius. (Sad part about that last sentence is I actually thought about what would be the most logical things with which to construct a bomb from...). Christ above, the security attendants in the airport should really take some muscle relxers, valium maybe, or idk, LSD because Lord above, they are more tense than Posh's anus.
If you haven't noticed, I basically have nothing to talk about today. UGH, that and I have about 45 blog posts that I have to make up for. Yeah, that whole "I'll like blog while I'm in like, friggin' Sweden and tell like everyone about my like totally amazing experiences because like, it will be like, like totally cool!" was just about as dumb of an idea as it sounds (hehe, and yes, I did just whip out a double like...watch yourself kids O.o).
Wanna update on my life?? No?
Fuck you.
Though to be honest, neither do I. I might try to stab my face off with an ice pick or eat my own foot off (gugh, I'm gonna need some salt and pepper with that one) just to make my life more interesting. That, and I need something to distract the HEARTACHE that is KILLING ME. I miss Uppsala!!
... -.- Yeah I know, Lindsey Lohan has nothing on my dramatic-bitch-whiney act. Dramtica to the bitter end!! Hooh-ha! Maybe I'll whip out a more organized and rivetingly philosophical entry tomorrow...
Hahaha! Doubt it. You too? Awh, you really are starting to get to know me! XD Scary thought huh??
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