Back in May I wrote a blog post entitled "The IQ of a Lobotomized Flatworm" (one of my favorite titles ever btw) in which I discussed Eleanor Roosevelt's quote, "Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." Basically I made myself sound like an ass (aka desperate plea urging the masses [aka the 3 people who actually read this blog on a semi-regular basis] NOT to go back and read that debacle) because I tried to refute ER, pulling the whole dramatic and passionate act I've seen so many brain-dead girls pull so that they can get a job they know nothing about or make themselves sound passionate about something they wiki-ed not five seconds earlier. And yeah, yeah, yeah, I've pulled the trick. Multiple times. Which just makes me feel that much more moronic.
Anyways, onto my real point: I've changed my mind. -gasp!-
In my last major paragraph I wrote, embarrassingly,
"...you see the thing is, when you discuss people...you're discussing much greater phenomenon. You're discussing what makes the heart beat, what drives a person to do something so horrific as to make headlines. You're asking why we fuck up and how we pick ourselves back up and how we come to build relationships with people that seem totally wrong. You're asking the universal and unanswerable question of why. Maybe you aren't doing any of it directly, maybe you aren't aware, but it's the act of doing that actually matters. When you discuss the human, you discuss ideas, you discuss events, you discuss everything."
Yeah, that's possibly one of the biggest bullshitting dumps I've ever taken. After having several mundane, shoot me in the fucking face, conversations about everyday life, I've decided something. Everything that I talked about in the above paragraph is true, if you take out the discuss people section. I think that each person (brace yourselves, this is going to be unbelievably obvious) themselves creates their own personal philosophy on these things. I mean maybe talking to other people influences your opinions, but discussion...
...well, to put it bluntly, it's just damned boring.
Swear to god, if someone doesn't engage me in a conversation with even the SLIGHTEST shade of intellectual prowess within the next 24 hours, I might just die. My brain will starve to death and shut down all vital functions because if I am condemned to having conversations that involve the weather one more damned time there really is no reason to live. Now, I'm not saying this to sound snotty, sorry if I do. Because no, I'm not so pretentious as to think I'm more intellectually inclined or mentally evolved than said persons fascinated with the current fluctuations in weather. No, no, I'm just bored to death with the obvious and heart wrenchingly dull conversations circulating in the general populace, so much so, that I no longer find humor in it. Perhaps an illustration is in order??
1. Redundancy.
Christ a-fucking-bove. Can people be MORE redundant!?!?! For example (now this is a guaranteed suckfest, because I blow at on the spot examples...come back in a week??), "Golly gee, my jeans are dirty. I think I'll wash them, because they are dirty."
Yeah nimrod. I got that. And thanks for telling me something I couldn't give two shits about (see numero dos).
As much as it pained me to do, I turned to the web in search of other horrifically redundant statements...brace yourselves.
"The HIV virus." -.- You're an idiot. Do you know what the acronym stands for??!
Likewise, "I need to go to the ATM machine." -facepalm-
"The offensive lineman are the biggest guys on the field. They're bigger than everyone else, that's why they're the biggest guys on the field." Quote: John Madden. Need I say more??
"It was a sudden and unexpected surprise." (Old Bailey Correspondent for the BBC)
"It's deja vu all over again." (Yogi Berra)
"The robbery was committed by a pair of identical twins. Both are said to be aged about 20." (Paul Hollingsworth)
"A stranger is just a person I haven't met yet" -Will Rogers, double facepalm on this one because I found it on my friends FB profile...double smack to my head for being friends with this redundant buffoon.
And because I love the lolz catz....
This next one is actually pretty funny. It's an explanation of 'pleonasm'. Also, these people clearly don't understand the meaning of redundant, but their article is hilarious nonetheless. And finally, if you aren't familiar with these douchy shirts, you should surf the web for (I highlighted it for you...and bold-faced the font...if you didn't notice)...
Above paragraph is funny to me for no particular reason, maybe because it's mostly true. ^^ At any rate, I'd say about 30-45% of everyday speech contains redundancies or useless explanations...needless to say, annoying. But, considering about 95% of any college paper I've written is redundancies (the other 5% being fluff...) I guess I really have no room to complain. But seriously, annoying as fuck! (And yes, I'm aware that I've already said this, multiple times O.o)
2. Telling Me Something I Couldn't Give Two Shits About: aka, Details.
Seriously, do I give a fuck? Chances are, if it's not gossip and it's not a lecture at uni, I couldn't give a rats ass. For example, if you tell me I-96 is closed due to an overturned semi truck, do I care to hear the details of which route you took home and how long it took? HELL NO. Likewise, do I care to know the details of why you were late to our meeting? Nope. The list goes on and on, but I think you get my gist. Mostly, I hate people telling me every damned detail of what they did in the day. If the conversation starts out with, "Well, first I woke up..." (and might I add a 'duh'...) I basically tune out. Just tell me the important things if you must and then let's move on. Talk about something more interesting for once in your life! And yeah, I know, you probably feel more comforted and like I care about you when I give you the patient, loving time to listen to your day's itinerary, but the thing is my dear, you've not really told me anything on value. Am I going to remember what you've done today tomorrow? Fuck no. But if we discuss something in the news or a movie or a book or the top ten reasons why you hate sushi am I going to remember that?? YEAH. Maybe not the intimate details of the conversation, but I sure as hell will at least subconsciously remember the discussion (and I KNOW, technically I will also remember the painful details of your day if you tell them to me, but that's beside the larger point you pricks...). Why?? Well firstly because I'll be entertained and interested in investing something into the conversation, but more importantly because it tells me something about you. I learn about you, you learn about me. WE BOND. -gasp!- Think about that next time you consider starting a conversation with "So how was your day??".
Yup, I suppose I could go on...but it's already been an hour and I don't really feel like wasting anymore time on such an infuriating and annoying topic. ^^ Until tomorrow...(you poor bastards, why do you keep reading this garbage??)
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