True Blood.

Okay, come on, you know I'm gonna talk about it. Because hello people, what is the news covering?? Lindsey Lohan- rehab, jail, and lesbian lovers, the Kardashians- who's fat, preggers, and breaking-up, Sandra and Jesse- will she, won't she (DITCH him honey), and finally the newest Rolling Stone True Blood cover. And unlike the nightly news, I'm not afraid to show this ridiculously AWESOME cover (yeah, that was semi-sarcastic):

Now I don't usually go for blondies, but can we just establish that the vamp on the left is suh-moking!?! Jesus Christ. Bite me.

Rawr.

Firstly, may I just say this? IT'S HBO. Can we expect anything other than soft porn?? I mean, I think we figured this out with The Tudors...and quite deliciously may I say? And of course, just like twinkies, cockroaches, and American Idol will survive the Apocalypse, sex will ALWAYS sell. I really don't get why the general populace is so outraged. If you want the truth, I think that these people are hiding their fascination with this show behind their 'disgust', because you know, to be fascinated in naughty sex is just so...mhm, dirty. ^^ And I'm sure the execs of True Blood and the head honchos at HBO are cumming in their pants from all of this media exposure. Because nothing is more popular than a dirty little secret...obsession = devoted viewers = high ratings = money money money = mas-tur-bation! Lol, I guess at the end of the day I just love watching these uptight, I'm-surprised-your pussy-isn't-frozen-and your-cock-hasn't-hidden-in-your-butt-flap staunchy (and indubitably white, just because we whites are ALWAYS stiff...sarcasm noted, thanks) people who act so shocked by this. I mean comeon people! It's television. Where have you been the past 20 years? Just like the 2 x 4 antics of the three stooges has gone way out of style, so has the fade to misty warm colors sex scenes. It's life, it's pop culture, get use to it. Stop pissing your pants over it. You're acting like one of those pathetic little hairless dogs (poor things, talk about shit breeding...YOU on the other hand...just pathetic, sorry bud). But whatever, if it gets you this excited, just masturbate to it and get over it kiddo, because I'm already sick of hearing it...

...though after watching the 2 minute E! special, of course I'm the one to say, "Oh comeon! That's all they're gonna show!?!" while my sister groans, "Jesus Christ, I don't wanna see anymore." But seriously, bloody vampire sex...mhm. Can I party!?! I have pronounced canines. Hiss hiss (because I've decided 'hiss' is the sound vampires make...thanks Twilight -facepalm-). Never seen the show for myself before (never knew it was ACTUALLY worth it...) but apparently there was a 'hot' werewolf rape scene...though, if there were five or six ripped lupine lovers all up in your business, would you really call it rape??

Yeah, that's what I thought.

At any rate, I've decided that this might be a show worth investing my time in. I mean, why would you want to watch The History Channel or National Geographic channel when you could watch the moral degradation of the American populace on daytime television every Thursday at 9PM? Bloody brilliant (pun sortof intended).

God I love indecency. ^^ I'm sure I'm making my mother proud. :p