Lions, Tigers, and Bears. Oh My!

Well, mostly bears. Oh god, so many bears. Well, there were only three, but damn were they doted upon.

So, my boyfriend has lived in Michigan his entire life and never once been to the Detroit Zoo (gasp!). Not only that, but he has never ever been to a zoo anywhere. Ever! What the hell?! Who hasn't been to the zoo before (granted this is coming from the girl who has never been to Cedar Point even though its only 3 hours away...)???! Being the fabulously uncreative and pretty damned broke girlfriend that I am, I decided that a trip to the zoo was the perfect birthday present. If only the freaking polar bears had agreed.

For those of you who haven't been to the Detroit Zoo ever, here is a photo of their main attraction:

Eeeppp! I know! A glass tube, underwater, with polar bears frolicking above you. Holy crap. So cool right?? Uhhh, yeah. What did my boyfriend and I see?

(Photo courtesy of muah!) Yeah, that's right, bobbing seals blowing bubbles because they are too retarded to swim over the tube. Jesus. Freaking hell. I was so upset at the polar bears. Granted it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit out, so I understand that they wanted to lie down in the shade but seriously are they retarded?? Get in the freaking pool!!!!! The water is ice cold you dumb ass. That, and my boyfriend is desperately waiting for you. Twice!! We went by the exhibit twice to see your sorry asses and did you arrive?? No. Mother of fucking pearl. Ugh. Sometimes I hate animals. What divas.

Fortunately, despite the fact that the hippos, lions, tigers, camels and rhinos were also lazy and just flopped on the ground and passed out, three glorious creatures decided to be awesome and actually, you know, move. That's right, two brown bears and a black bear entertained my boyfriend for almost an hour and then he loved them so goddamned much that we had to make two loop arounds to see them again. Literally, half of the photos on the disposable camera are of the bears (yeah, I have a sucktastic digital camera- outfitted with new batteries, it didn't even make it through taking one photo before it died. Faggot). Like this one:

Hooray! Also, the meercats (I think, either that or prairie dogs...) were awesome. We sat there staring at them for about a half an hour. One devious one was trying to scale the wall to make an escape, and I'm not going to go into the gooey details, but basically it was adorable. People slam zoos, but seriously guys. How are we suppose to appreciate nature if we don't ever get to see it and watch the amazing-ness that is the creatures that inhabit this earth?

So, despite the fact that all the animals are fucking lazy asses in 90+ degree weather, the trip to the zoo was a success...I think. My boyfriend seemed to like it, so I don't think it could have been that terrible. 8D

Basically, I'm awesome.


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Okay, okay, I know, I'm delusional. Shut up!