10. "He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot." [Groucho Marx]
9. Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea. {CLASSIC)
8.I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening. [MEN!]
7. Wankflaps. (Needless to say, this one stands on it's own, probably because of the WTH?! factor...)
6. A pox on you all, you shitbags! (Somehow I imagine a Spanish Inquisitor screaming this at a mob of Protestants)
5. I hope NATO will bomb your house.
4. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
3. I hope a hungry Carpathian long-haired she-wolf royally blows your dick.
2. May you get butt-fucked by a raging blind bear.
&
1. Go take a flying fuck into the sun.
Honorary Snubz-
People's Choice: I'm about to go ape-shit on your ass.
Critic's Choice: Dumb bitch. [Clean, simple, to the point, gorgeous]
& My personal favorite... "[she] might have the biggest baddest ovaries around- probably shot them at her enemies like cannon balls"
(Note: Swear phrases are much more fun and outrageous to google. But I felt that the RRRXXXX rating might be too much. =D)
This last quote is from my love Rob Thurman's latest book, "Roadkill". Before I begin prostrating myself before the glory of the Leandros Series, I have to say, I just about died laughing when I first read this. I feel that 95% of any moderately humorious to down right hilarious remarks I hear target men's little men (that's a terrible euphemism...sorry about that O.o). So, needless to say, this was damned refreshing.
Onto the single greatest series I've ever read! Ladies and Gents, the genius that is Rob Thurman. I love this woman, she is the goddess of my literary universe. Seriously, OMFG. If you haven't read her stuff, you have no idea what the meaning of life is. This woman is phenomenal. And her characters are fucking brilliant, not to mention hot as hell. Hands down, these five books top any and everything you can think of:
1. Nightlife
2. Moonshine
3. Madhouse
4. Deathwish
5. Roadkill
Thurman's characters are intriguing and witty and sarcastically biting, oh and did I mention BADASS??? I love reading the back and forth bantering of the characters, I mean, when you compare my top ten list to the little squabbles the characters in the series get into on a regular basis, well, let's just say the top ten list PALES in comparison. Just pales, looks freaking infantile compared to the gold-mine of quotes in the Leandros series. And if that weren't enough, these books have disgustingly wondrous plots and have made me re-examine possibly every relationship in my life currently. I mean, it's one of those series that is thought provoking in an "oh-please-don't-stop" kind of way (and yes, that WAS mildly sexual). There is no conceivable way for me to do justice to the magnificence of these books, but maybe this example will make things clearer.
So, here's the skinny. I've never re-read a book in its entirety in my life. And I am an AVID reader. It's sortof become a mantra of mine. When I was a kid, I tried to re-read my favorite series and I hated it because even after two years, upon beginning the book again, I remembered the entire story. No fun in that. But Thurman is so freaking brilliant that I've read Nightlife maybe three times already? I've almost finished Roadkill (fantastic) and am planning on reading Nightlife again. I won't give any of it away, but I am going to give a shout-out to Cal;
Dude, I'll tap you. XD
Check it out-
http://www.robthurman.net/
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