Je Suis Fauché.

Why is it the less money we have, the more we lose?



Well, I'm broke. And my only solace in that statement is that it sounds sexier in French. Today, one of my greatest fears came true. So, generally, I work from 10AM-5PM without a lunch break. Usually I bring a powerbar to munch on but today I woke up late and forgot my snack-lunch. Unfortunately for me, I was starving and knew I was going to be at work until 8 or 9PM. And, because I'm piss poor, I had no way to pay for anything to eat- save my Discover card. I usually don't like using this, because my parents still pay it off and I really don't want them thinking I'm monetarily irresponsible. That, and I've used it five or six times for gas this month already. But, because I felt like I was going to pass out, I just went to my MOST FAVORITE sushi place to eat. Now, I've used my Discover card there several times and never had any problems. But of COURSE, OF COURSE, because the great power of the universe realized that creating me was a cosmic mistake, I have been cursed with the worst fucking luck. Of COURSE the waitress refuses my Discover, apparently they only take Visa or MasterCard. And of COURSE I only have 11 bucks in my bank account. And of COURSE I spent 13.53. And of COURSE the restaurant closes in 5 minutes so I can't drive home and steal cash from my sister's piggy bank. OF COURSE.


Fuck.


My.


Life.



So, I panic, race back to the lab to beg my boss for a twenty (worst idea ever, thankfully M wasn't there) and then frantically whip out my phone to call my mom for an electronic transfer into my bank account. And what do you know? The woman who calls me thrice daily, who freaks out every time I walk out of the house because I most definitely am going to get robbed or beaten or raped, the woman who CREEPS on me with her damned car while I'm running, THAT WOMAN refuses to answer the freaking phone when there actually is an emergency. Fucker. So what is my only option left? Call my father.

Shit.

My dad is awesome. He cooks, cleans, even gave me the sex talk (ugh). I can always count on my dad. But, the one thing that I refuse to discuss with my father is money. Why? Because I can't do a damned thing right in his eyes. He gets pissed off at me, calls me irresponsible and a hopeless adult, yada yada yada and it ends up with me screaming "wank off!" at him and running to my room sobbing. So yeah, calling my dad in times of monetary emergency is not only a bad idea, it's practically suicidal. He's definitely plan Z, wait no, let's go all the way into the Grecian alphabet here- he's plan Ω. So, fuck me sideways here we go, calling up the big man. Karma be damned. His response? "Tough luck, not helping" and hangs up. AWESOME.

Reluctantly, I hike back to the delectable sushi vendor and explain the situation. I re-inform them that I've used my card like 40 times there and turn to the waiter on the right, WHO WAITED ON ME JUST LAST WEEK, and, hoping for an assist, say "Remember, I used that card last week?" What does that son of a flea-bitten she-wolf say? "Uhhh, no you didn't." Wow, real mature you bastard. I know you damn well remember- I gave you a 35% tip you SOB.

Yeah, that's not happening again.

End result of these frantic ten minutes? The incompetent yet frustratingly friendly staff at the unnamed restaurant has my driver's license and I have one day to find $20 to pay my bill. God fucking dammit. I should have just let myself die of starvation. At least I wouldn't be in debt.


Shitheads.





***UPDATE***: Bought a candy bar at WalMart and took out $20 in cash back. I'm brilliant. O.o

And now in debt. -_-