It goes without saying that I have to take some time today with my blog to honor the veterans who have fought and died for our great country and the freedoms we all enjoy. So, to all of the men and women who have fought, or are fighting; thank-you, thank-you, thank-you. You are unbelievably strong and brave, and I don't mean this to be fruity, but seriously, you all are heroes to me. In particular, I want to give a special shout-out to my Uncle Mark. He has already served a tour for the war in Iraq and this past year was once again deployed. And today, I found out that his stay was extended an additional year. I don't like to think about it, and I don't particularly want to talk about it, but I would appreciate it if you would say a prayer for him, or whatever your faith dictates. I'm sure that I share the same feelings and desires as all the other families and friends who have someone they love fighting across the ocean, so I'm going to assume it all goes without saying. Anyways, I just want to express my appreciation and great gratitude again, you men and women who protect our incredible nation. So, yeah, thanks.
To lighten the mood a bit (and yes, I suppose this is blasphemous, as today is about honoring our soldiers, not celebrating them, but I'm not really built of strong stuff), today the most horrendous thing happened to me. I am the most unathletic, uncoordinated blob that was ever wrought into creation. No joke, I can't catch a ball to save my life. Don't even ask me to serve a volleyball. Uhuh- not happening. It's quite pathetic really. And today was just another horrific demonstration of my deplorable athleticism. A few of my buddies and I decided that we were going to get a game of volleyball together. I knew this was a bad idea to begin with, hence my insistence of being placed on the same side as my good friends...so they wouldn't be able to smash talk me (A-ha! I am sooo clever O.o). But of course, I found a way to out-do myself. Let's just say I put a whole new definition to "Get your head in the game." Yes, yes, I truly did get my delicate cranium involved. UGH. Halfway through the game, I was tired of getting bitched at for not diving for the ball, but rather crouching in the fetal position and expecting someone else to get the ball when it soared into my domain, so I decided to step it up a notch. I was feeling pretty into it, my knocks looking glorious in my soft black tanktop, the grass a plump and juicy green after the recent rainfall, and the desperation of the other teams nine point lead had my adrenaline rushing. So I figure, I'll rush to my knee and bump the ball back up into the field of play, epically propelling my team towards a stellar victory.
Yeah, like that'll happen.
Nope, instead I feel my ankle slide out from under me, resulting in my ungraceful slide onto both knees, my orangutan arms flailing out behind me in the ultimate "I surrender, do with me as you will" pose as I literally headbang the volleyball. Let me repeat:
HEADBANG.
(You know, the violent, thrashing rocker move except with a ball snogging with the left side of my face more vehemently than a starving hooker on Trump. O.o ... Yeah, exactly.)
Oh my freaking god. Now, if you know me, I don't get embarrassed. Really, pretty much never. Humiliated, sometimes. I really don't take myself so serious enough to care about how absolutely idiotic I look. But, you know that feeling you get when you are watching the TV and someone does something just incredibly embarrassing and you feel embarrassed for them because they are just, god, making themselves look like a complete goober- you know, your heart skips up a few notches and your cheeks flush because you are just so damned embarrassed for the poor bastard. Yeah, that. That feeling emanating from the other eight or so players clung to the air, like vaginas to Tiger Woods over-rated penis. Literally, just totally tangible as I sat there, stunned three generations over, wallowing in my complete and utter failure.
God, why me???
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